It's been three days of winter break and it feels like these two weeks will go by swiftly. My nights consist of listening to music and sneaking out at night with Evelyn and randoms. I stuff the blankets with pillows and stuffed animals in hopes that my mom won't suspect anything. I feel the adrenaline circulating throughout my body as I attempt to open the door quietly without waking anybody in the house. After I close my front door, it's freedom for me. It's weird, but I'm the most awake at night. I kind of like the idea that everybody is sleeping yet I'm one of the few who are awake. I hop into her Honda accord and we proceed to drive on the freeway. In the past two days, we've hit the 57, 10, and 60 freeway. We've gone to Three Oaks twice and explored.

Today Wilton and I raced to see who can get to McDonald's faster and I won! I've raced people for fun on small residence roads, but today we raced on La Puente Road. I drove 60 to 70mph and it was probably one of the most dangerous things I've ever done. I mean I could have gotten a ticket since Walnut is full of cops or gotten in a car accident, but I figure I'm young right now and there are some things I just can't do when I'm thirty years-old. I mean, I'm safe for the most part.

So for the year of 2011, I want to make a to-do list or a bucket list if you will. I plan on making the year of 2011 an incredible year of change and self-discovery. Each day will be a celebration because I'm one day closer to death, but that doesn't mean I don't plan on studying and working hard. I will rejoice in my youth and be thankful for my life even if it's for a few minutes. To make up my past two months of being distracted and emotionally worn-down, I will dedicate the next year to success and happiness from within. To everything shitty that's happened this year, the past is the past and I've reached the point of acceptance. I cry from time to time, but that's going to stop next year. The next two weeks will be the last of my crappy days. I promise myself to try my hardest to be done with the past when the new year rolls around. I will stop worrying and wondering because the worst has happened and nothing can really change the present circumstances. My actions have led me up to this point and I've done everything in power to change the outcome. I will move on.

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate the when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." -Marilyn Monroe