A couple things on my mind

1) Get my sleeping schedule together. Stop sleeping late and waking up past noon...

2) Make an effort and keep in touch with people

3) Mass search around for albums that I can't find

4) Organize my music by artist and album

By the end of December, I plan to be an improved version, which means

1) Cuss less, be less perverted.

2) Change the way I walk

3) Cut my hair

4) Get my eyebrows waxed

5) Lose four pounds

6) Dress better, stop looking like I woke up ten minutes ago

7) Stop throwing my money away. Be thrifty and wise with my money

8) Be happy and let go

If I can do at least four things on this list, I'm set for winter quarter. I will do my best and look my best. Fall quarter was a learning process for me and I don't want to ever make the same mistakes I did.

Despite falling out of touch with people, I need to learn to move on. People come and go in life. I have to accept the hard truth that I'll never be friends with the same people ever again. I have to let go of this hope that one day everything will fall back together. It just doesn't work that way and I don't know why it's so difficult for me to accept it. I have learned to take full responsibility of my actions, but the hardest part is moving on and that's why sometimes I love being at Santa Barbara because all of these distractions. I really don't want to be at the same page a year later so I really need to fix myself. I will move on and live on; I will be happy again.

When I grow up, I don't ever want to lose myself. I still want to have my passion of film and music. I really don't know if being a science-based major is right for me. A huge part of me really wants to be a communications majors with an emphasis in art history. I'm not going to lie, but being a museum curator sounds pretty interesting. If I stay in the arts field, I will always be heavily involved music. However, I figure that art history will always be a hobby because I honestly do want to support my mother despite what she says. I want to take care of her until the day she dies because she's been there for me since day one. I suck at anything math-based and I can barely scrap by anything science-based. I'd rather memorize or understand concepts that deal with words. When I see numbers, nothing clicks for me. I'm not really logic-based either so I can't really do anything with computer science. I'm only pursuing a biology major because I want to make a lot of money when I grow up. If I want to give my family and my mom a decent and comfortable lifestyle, I can't settle for anything less. If my mom is happy, then I'm happy. It makes me really sad to see my mom stressed with it comes to financial matters. I'm ashamed of myself for carelessly spending my parents' money. I've always been convinced that we would be okay, but after talking to my mom, I'm becoming to be more financially aware. I plan on not using my credit card anymore after December.