Week 5

My life has been so eventful lately :)

Paphi lil sis with my bff, Evelyn. My big is Sid Ho! He's one of the funniest and most eccentric people ever. We're so punny.

I just stopped cheating the system.

I'm so stubborn and persistent in all the ways I shouldn't be. This leads to internal conflict because I don't know if I'm being too selfish. Am I wrong for thinking otherwise? I don't want to miss out on something.

Honestly, everything doesn't have to be so black and white. It's too bad the grey zone paves the way to ambiguity and unsureness.

via Tumblr

Hands down, Westies are my favorite dogs. When I got my first dog book at 5, I fell in love with Westies.

"Learn to love without condition. Talk without bad intention. Give without any reason. And most of all, care for people without any expectation."

CONGRATULATIONS, EVELYN L. CHANG!!!

I love you! ^___^

Things are looking up for you and me!!!

SUCCESSSS YEEESSSS HEART HEARTSSS!!! Seriously I'm so proud of you.

No words can describe last night.

I can't even....

No, I don't want to be stuck where I'm at. My GPA is so ugly right now.

Sleep > studying all the way. This is seriously the last time I'm going to do this. Cramming is the worst; I think I've learned my lesson. I don't know why I decided to do it again...seriously last quarter kicked me in the butt.

After tomorrow I am really going to change my study habits. If I want a good GPA, I can't take the easy way out. Old habits sure die hard.

I'm well-aware that people make fun of me for it. I guess I have to try really hard to change it. It makes me feel so awkward and self-conscious sometimes. It gives people a reason to say something about it and I do feel pretty embarrassed about it from time to time.

I really have to change the way I walk.

Week 4

This picture is a lie; I'm actually really tired and I don't look that happy.

Progress is slowly coming along.

“I no longer believed in the idea of soul mates, or love at first sight. But I was beginning to believe that a very few times in your life, if you were lucky, you might meet someone who was exactly right for you. Not because he was perfect, or because you were, but because your combined flaws were arranged in a way that allowed two separate beings to hinge together.”
—Lisa Kleypas

"In the hopes of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet."

-Albert Schweitzer

SUP.

"This disease I find everything pursuing
I forget that I hate so many things
Like techno clubs
I prefer the queuing"

The Radio Dept. - Memory Loss

Today I went to the engineering building today for the first time today. In my opinion, it's the prettiest building in campus because of the glass windows and the steps leading up to the main level. I saw a bunch of labs and a bunch of posters on the projects. Even though I don't know what laser diodes are without Wikipedia, I'm fascinated by these projects. I saw people working in legit labs with the full on white suits, and I'm enamored with the idea of working in a lab and discovering something that you only know about it. I love reading what these people are doing; I enjoy listening to people talk about research and honestly I try my best to understand it. I may not be the most intelligent person to do this kind of work, but I appreciate scientists and the work they do. This is wh y I'm so excited to work in the lab tomorrow. I mean it's not going to be specifically related to my major, but I get to have lab experience and my interests are expanding. Doing dirty work like planting seeds is worth it because I'm contributing something in the end.

Also, I never give up until I know it's absolutely hopeless. This might hurt me, but I've learned to always take chances. It's time I learn from the mistakes I've made; I'm not going to be stupid about this.

Hopefully I'm going to Coachella or Santa Barbara Film Festival.

Evelyn, you are also typing on your blog. HOLLA!

-Alarm at 740A.M woke me up...however the 8AM one never woke me up and it was Evelyn who woke me up at 932AM....

-Thanks Evelyn...you saved my ass. I would have been late for lab ):

-Ran to the Life Sciences building and saw the elevator open, which was like 30 feet from me. I ran faster and tripped and fell. However, I got up like a trooper. Made it to lab on time with scrapped hands.

-Picked appropriate seedlings out of a petri dish and planted them. Three hours of this...

-Met a fourth year named Stacy who told me about another internship, thanks!

-Greenhouse was hot as hell

-Taped envelopes for 30 minutes and saw Joseph

-Read for a bit and went to buy my book

-History discussion at 4PM, LOL did not know anything...so embarrassing

-5pm Physics...almost fell asleep...-__- CLAS teacher goes in circles...

-6pm-9pm chem lab! so eassyyyy, my partner is so nice :)

-Burned my fingers on a ring gauze -__-

-late night dining finally food!! delicious

Tuesday is definitely the most tiring day of the week; I feel accomplished. The taste of food is ten times more delicious than a regular meal when you haven't eaten anything the entire day. I'm still very thankful about this position. I feel busy and it's a good feeling.

I am almost 100% sure that I am going to the Santa Barbara International Film Festival.

I have 12 hours of class, lab, and CLAS with no breaks in between. Time management is essential.

The Russian Futurists - Let's Get Ready to Crumble

"but I wouldn’t take a single second back
come on and let’s lose control
we’ll sell our souls to rock and roll
we’ll die before we get older."

One of 2008's summer songs.

This should be universally applied to anything bad that happens. I always use this perspective and it helps most of the time.

"JIM: Four years ago, I was just a guy who had a crush on a girl who had a boyfriend. And I had to do the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do, which was just to… wait. Don’t get me wrong, I flirted with her. Pam, I can now admit, in front of friends and family, that I do know how to make a photocopy. Didn’t need your help that many times. And, uh, do you remember how long it took you to teach me how to drive stick?

PAM: Like, a year.

JIM: I’ve been driving stick since high school. For a really long time, that’s all I had. I just had little moments with a girl who saw me as a friend. And a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with a girl who I worked with. But, I think, even then, I knew that… I was waiting for my wife."

Like Jim, I'll be patient.

I didn't expect to get a research position in my first year, but I got it. Hopefully, it's something I want to do in the future.

Thank you, Joesph for helping me out.

I'm just going to be patient and work on the things I want. Everything turned out better than expected.

In the future, I want to attend more of UCSB's art shows as well as free film showings. I know this school isn't just a party school; I want to be more active.

Finally I have a research position!

I shall be working in the lab and greenhouse Tuesdays and Thursdays 10AM to 2PM; I can't wait to start working! The project is on selfing vs. outcrossing in the Clarkia flower and we'll be studying the mating system of these plants.

There's just not enough hours in a day.

I'm crossing my fingers for this research position.

I need to stop giving in to my cravings.

All I want to do is eat....I'm so ashamed of myself. I know I gained like five pounds this week.

One of the most important things I heard last night was to learn how to have good control of everything, which includes your feelings.

Now why would I let my emotions run haywire?

This should be universally applied to my life. I know how to go with the flow, but I always let things take its course too freely. I've let the good things in my life go because of that and as a result, I always hope for it to come back on its own.

I'm shifting my New Year's Resolutions around. I need to be in control of a lot of things in my life and apply logic to my everyday situations.

bicycle hunting for Alan. 271 FOR A BIKE WITH TRAINING WHEELS??!?. matching monkey keychains. ugly ass boxers. "it hurts my penis". AUDIOSURF + AMNESIA. delicious pho at Noodle City. me taking years to finish my food. four people cramped in the back. scratch cards. more audiosurf and ALEKS. UV blue +OJ with hallmates. post-it identifying game. "AM I A GUY?" x 3. friggin' vankoppen. Alan, the inverted reindeer. Katrina, the supervisor. water pong in the longue. DREAM TEAM (JUSTIN AND ME) jk. teaching Katrina how to play. last two shots UHHH. double or nothing. jamba juice bets. LOL 30 dollar money shot. "knock, knock who's there". ending the night typing this and Justin sleeping on the floor. WHOOP.

My hallmates are the best. They make UCSB complete.

This night would have been perfect if Evelyn was here. I can't wait for you to come back tomorrow!

I had the strangest dream last night....

Also, I apparently talk in my sleep.

Teen Daze - Let's Fall Asleep Together

Foxes in Fiction - Jimi Bleachball

Star Slinger - May I Walk With You?

Brothertiger - Feel

Blackbird Blackbird - Avalanche

Diamond Messages - Smoke and Mirrors

PAST, Y U NO GO AWAY? Y U NO DISAPPEAR? IT'S 2011.

I want to say I don't care, but I'd be lying. I do care about what people think about me. I'm involuntarily going through the TSA scanner.

First day of class.

Hopefully, I'll look better by the end of ten weeks. Evelyn and I also decided to change the format of our room!

I'm still thinking about doing art history or interior design. It is probably one of my dream jobs to be a museum curator for a famous museum.

It took us five hours to get from LA to SB. The 5 freeway closed to due snow...WHAT PART OF CALIFORNIA SNOWS OTHER THAN THE MOUNTAINS? I dreaded unpacking and going to class, but I realized how much I missed Santa Barbara. It's the people that make me want to stay.

"Home is wherever I'm with you." -Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
—Marilyn Monroe

For the first time in a long time, I'm inspired. I hope I'll always have this motivation throughout my life.

A rough estimate of my goals for 2011:

-good grades (3.5 or higher winter quarter)

-listen to lots and lots of music

-watch lots of film

-save money and be financially aware

-make little changes in my appearance to feel good

-stay in touch with my friends and make an effort to get to know people I don't know well

-be comfortable talking to others

-constantly grab opportunities

-think before I speak

-get rid of old habits ex: stop biting my nails + stop being late

-be classy, stay classy

-dress better

-devote time to read each day even if it's science articles

-do not cloud myself with silly thoughts

-be a better person

I'm so excited to go back to Santa Barbara; I'm determined to keep my New Year's Resolution. Time to make 2011 a year of success, music, and good people.