I'm in the process of developing good habits

• Using my planner everyday, writing remainders down, using post-it application
• Sleeping before 2AM everyday
• Learning to do homework during the day
• Planning my day ahead of time
• Having the willpower to get out of bed
• Cutting down the amount of time I'm late slowly....hehe

This is going to be a good quarter. I'm very motivated to do well and I think being strained on time reduces the amount of time I go on Facebook and all those other social networking websites. I'm a lot less likely to waste time now.

Time management is essential this quarter. I'm going to make it a habit to plan my days in my planner.

Bad habits: naps during the day.

moleskin notebooks, cognac oxfords, navy boat shoes, deerskin minnetonkas, anything that is striped, pastel hues, greys/blacks/whites, army jackets, deep blue denim, rompers, scallop shorts, laced underwear, ankle booties, swim suits, pops of color, aviators, short hair, cable knit thigh highs, pleated high waisted shorts, sheer button ups, vintage levi's cutoffs, animal rings.

Summer plans:

• first half of summer: Summer A session (13 units) + ecology/hospital volunteering + chemistry storeroom (???)
• second half of summer: speech therapy internship @ fullerton + job (ANYWHERE PLEASEEE)
• SF w/ best freakin' friend, Evelyn!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (we shall devour macarons, eat seafood, be typical tourists w/ sunglasses, fedoras, denim cutoffs, and cameras) IDGAF, OH BEAUTIFUL VACATION THIS WILL BE
• EDC 2k11 (JUSTICE!) w/ Ilani + random escapades with this woman ranging from mildly silly to extremely far-fetched.
• SJ to visit my bf (bitchass favorite) Justin heh, go skydiving with me :)
• old high school friends
• FBLA girls
• food adventuresss + yelp yelp yelp
• Ronnieeeeeee ^_^
• NAS reunions
• random individual hangouts
• donate my clothes + go to savers

^^ Do not disappoint me, summer 2k11. I'm working hard for you; I really am.

I'm doing stomach and leg exercises everyday and I'm also going to run with Katrina once spring quarter starts. I can't wait to buy a bathing suit in two months and fearlessly go on the beach without feeling self-conscious.

Main problem: Bursts of motivation and streams of inspiration come to me at 3AM. My mind is working quickly and trying to process all my thoughts and information. The problem with me is that I want to do everything yet I'm mediocre at everything I do. I have way too many interests and too little passions.

P.S order a moleskin notebook so I can finally doodle and write my daily inspirations in my notebook. No more of this blog nonsense where I ramble on and on.

P.S.S Ilani, come back! I miss you so much ):

Music Mondays, Tasty Tuesdays, Wishful Wednesdays, Thoughtful Thursdays, Fashion Fridays stolen from That's Chic

A lover of

good food, good company, and good music.

You’re going to die soon enough anyway; even if it’s a hundred years from now, that’s still the blink of a cosmic eye. In the meantime, live like a scientist—even a controversial one with only an ally or two in all the world—and treat life as a grand experiment, blood, sweat, tears and all.
-Jesse Bering

"We’re just having fun
We don’t care who sees
So what we go out
That’s how its supposed to be
Living young and wild and free"

Monday: Pasadena w/ Evelyn Chang

postponed two hours due to lack of sleep. car doesn't work. can't even honk. park at ralph's. impossible roads. "hope you don't get a ticket". broke as a joke. last pair of scallop shorts T_T that are not my size. floralxfloral in f21. victoria's secret gone. cute fedoras. "i almost lost my umbrella". shoes. dots cupcakes. evelyn losing BFF bracelet, but finding it in her jacket..dur... broke as a joke after zara. bootiess. not eating at all. little bits of traffic. almost missing 57.

Tuesday: Fonda Don Chon and golfing w/ Ethan Chow

"readdy!!". 10sec. "i'm outside". exotic name of fonda don chon. MEXICAN BUFFET. soupez soupez. everywhere ethan goes a major disaster occurs. greece's fires. new zealand's earthquakes. australia floods. iceland's volanco. england's floods. some place in europe's economy shattering. camera flash LOLOLOL. not eating boba for five years. first guess on his birthday. sweet delicious corn. mandatory song drop it low girl. teen daze. ethan woods. tiger chen. lack of skill in golf. rolling distance for me. my amazing stance of golf. king kat meow~.

!!

I have never been so excited for spring break to come. With the exception of seeing some old friends, I'm definitely going to be sleeping most of break.

After break is over, I'm really going to try my best to devote time everyday to study even if it's just fifteen minutes a day. I swear if I did that everyday outside of homework, I would not be staying up the night before finals.

On another note I plan on getting a minor in speech and hearing sciences! I'm going to speak to an advisor about more information on this. I also need to fill out a hospital volunteer form and get summer school classes. I really don't want to be a super senior if I decide to go through with this plan. It's probably going to be a my backup plan in case pharmacy school or medical school doesn't work out. I can still apply to a lot of other speech pathology graduate programs.

I have a lot to look forward to in 2k11.

TIL that UCSB is the only UC campus to offer this minor in the undergraduate program. Life is good when you make these little discoveries. This gives me all the more reason to believe that UCSB was a better choice in the end.

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
-Lao-Tze

Keren Ann's version of Jardin D'Hiver is beautiful. Sometimes I regret not continuing French.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=im9fspvvkf4

Oh, Explosions in the Sky has a new album. I haven't heard it myself, but I hear it's very good so I'm definitely looking forward to it during spring break.

Yin and Yang

This picture is so funny. Yin and Yang. It's funny because we're opposites who balance each other.

Listening to Teen Daze's Let's Fall Asleep Together reminds me of 2k11's upcoming summer. A lot of the times my mind and heart is full of wanderlust. A lot of times I don't want to be in Santa Barbara. On my newsfeed, I see pictures of people traveling or pictures of their adventures in college. I live vicariously through these pictures and wonder why am I not experiencing the same things as they are?

Over the course of these past few days, I did a lot of thinking about myself as a person and how I want to change. My I-don't-give-a-fuck behavior developed in junior year after continuously failing in the academics area. Eventually it became my way of dealing with things I didn't want to do and became my excuse when I didn't want to study. Now I wait till the last minute to do things and I'm always late to class even if it's just a couple minutes.

After staying in the library for a long time and actually understanding my errors on my chemistry midterms, I realize I'm not that dumb after all. I actually have the potential to do well on the final. I shouldn't give up on science if it's what I want to do with the rest of my life. Though art history remains to be a passion of mine, I know I can't do much with it. I actually enjoy chemistry a lot so I'm going to stay in my major and not drop out. For the first time in a long time, I actually want to be smart and intelligent; I want to be able to solve problems without struggling and looking at the solutions manual. In fact, I want to be able to fluently explain the answer in class without getting it wrong.

I'm sure this change sparked from the long talks with Evelyn about always wanting to change and be a better person. Honestly, I get so tired from always wanting to change, but never actually doing it. Perhaps the reason why it took me so long to actually start to change stemmed from just changing little things in my appearance and the way I walk. My habit of walking like a man is slowly going away; it takes time to get used to.

I'm tired of all the self-loathe I have for myself about how I'm never good enough for anything. A lot of it disintegrated after having a better understanding of myself. Through talks with Evelyn, Ilani, Howard, and Justin I want to be a better person at the end of this school year.

That's why I'm so excited for summer because I can't wait to see the improved version of myself. Even though I'm not doing something amazing like going on daily adventures, I have to concentrate on school, my relationships with people, and ultimately myself. I need to stop giving up and doubting myself all the time. I can be everything I have always envisioned and hoped to be.

Though I sometimes don't like Santa Barbara, it reminds me that it's summer in the middle of February. I shouldn't need to be envious of others, but start to truly appreciate everything I have in SB. I have a best friend who puts up with my messy half of the room and has long talks with me till sunrise. I have the most hilarious hallmates who help me on chemistry and laugh with me at stupid things. I have someone who puts up with my overanalyzing self and wakes me up from my daily naps. I have a mother who loves me and calls me to make sure I'm okay. In reality, I have everything I could possibly want and need.

Hey, I know I might not get a good grade in chemistry, but at least I'm coming into the final knowing that I tried my best.

Final in twelve hours, I can do this.

Evelyn and I had a really good conversation last night. A notable conversation was about our friendship and why we are so close.

We are close not because of our similar interests, but how well we know each other and how we are together. We know way too much about each other. In a very broad sense, we want the same things in life--success, happiness, and good vibes/food. I feel that because we are so different that we get along on a much deeper level. We don't need to be together 24/7 and we both have our set of friends that we can talk to about other things. There is no competition between us because we both want totally different things in life and boys will never be a problem. Ultimately I feel that this is a reason why I thrive so well around Evelyn. With her, I know I can be myself without judgment.

Thank you.

zomglasrpewpew 2:52 am
well.. peer counseling taught me this
but what you look for in anyone not just like
romantic relationships but any relationship is some kind of solid, common ground.
something that in the long term
you know is impenetrable and you know that can withstand anything
and thats what the basis is for like.. you and me, or you and evelyn, or you and any close friend you know?
but with romantic relationships
its a bit different in that
... like idk
you know in avatar they have like
synchronized braids
or in harry potter there is like a matching wand to each wand
you need that in any relationship you know?
i'm not implying theres just one person out there
but millionz of people whos wands are made out of the same material as you
you know?

Dead week, GPOY

My dedication to spring/summer.

I can't wait :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6W0Q5KGMQQ4

Ethnic Descent - Lover's Rock

A YouTube commenter said "this song > anything lil wayne has ever said". I totally agree with this statement.

HUNGREB0I 9:49 pm
the way i look at it
it's like this.
no matter what you're gonna make money.
it's true that if you're in bio/medicine
your start pay/in general is better than other occupations.
but if you persue art
expecting yourself not to make that much money
that's jsut how it's gonna be
unless you devote and actually
risk it all
your art's just
gonna be shit

HUNGREB0I 9:54 pm
and where you're at
it'll hit you
and when you do just hop on and stay on that train and enjoy the ride

chu chuuu

HUNGREB0I 9:57 pm
first step in finding your calling
Maggie Chen 9:57 pm
if i'm still unhappy at 24 years old...i'll rop everything
drop*
and figure it out
for now i guess i'll stay where i'm at
HUNGREB0I 9:57 pm
is realizing you need to find one

Everybody is out there accomplishing great things and I'm sitting here wasting my life away.

If this is what I call living life, I sure have low standards.

MAKE PLANS!

Dear Reddit, have you ever thought about just quitting your job, ditching everything, and moving to another city or even country?

"I did exactly what you're thinking of doing at the age of 24 and I am 28 now. I visited 20+ countries in a year and lived in Australia for 6 months (Canadian) and I would do it again in a second.
A bit of back story: I figured that I had accomplished all the goals I set in high-school by getting a good job, university education, fancy sports car and finally a new apartment. On paper it was everything everyone would want right? Wrong. I was unhappy and miserable. I took Computer Science and Math instead of History and Art because that's what my parents wanted for me so I could be successful. I felt cheated because I was young and didn't think for myself... I always told myself I would go traveling later and kept putting it off in order to follow someone elses dreams for me. I pre-purchased into the condo development before it was complete at a low price, the real-estate market peaked. I called up the mortgage guy and canceled the appointment and went to a real-estate person instead. It took 4 days to sell the place and I took the first offer. After taxes and fees I had just shy of $40,000 for selling what amounted to a piece of paper and paid off all my debts and started planning. I gave my work 8 months notice that I was leaving and stayed with my folks until I left a year later. I planned and prepared for my trip, it was the first time in my entire life I felt free and in control.
I traveled all through Europe, 17 countries in total. I spent a day in the Louvre, swam in the Mediterranean, wandered the streets of Pompeii, Para-Sailed in Corfu, rode a camel by the Pyramids, had one foot in Asia and another in Europe, drank beer in a real Beer Hall from a .5 liter stein, climbed mountains in Switzerland, Whitewater rafted in Austria, got stoned in Amsterdam, saw musicals in London... you get the idea. If you take the time right now you could do all those things and more, but it does take a small amount of sacrifice and guts. I cant tell you how many times I though "How the fuck did I get here, this is the best day of my life"
It was a life changing year and in my eyes the best thing I have ever managed to do. I learned more about the world and myself in that year then I could have hoped for. It changed my outlook on just about everything, I realized money and possessions are not all they're cracked up to be. Some of the happiest people I encountered were people who had nothing. We're talking mud-brick walls and no roof, dirt floor and no water or power. That kind of stuff sticks with you forever.
I met so many Aussies in Europe I ended up heading to Australia for about 6 months. I consider my friends from my year abroad to be my best friends and would do anything for them. There is something about meeting other backpackers, most are very straightforward and actually act like themselves. You don't have to "wear a mask" like you do at home, if someone doesn't like you fuck them you'll never see them again :P I found most people to be genuine and rather kind. Facebook is amazing for keeping in touch with people.
If you have any questions fire away, I can't recommend taking the trip enough. Getting the travel bug is totally worth it.
This post finally decided to make an account after around 4 years of lurking."

"You are still young. I'd rather live with the mistake, than with the regret of not doing something, and not knowing what could have been the outcome."

^THIS!

http://brokenluggage.wordpress.com/2010/06/13/how-to-experience-living-in-a-foreign-country-without-getting-citizenship/

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fz5d8/dear_reddit_have_you_ever_thought_about_just/

http://www.reddit.com/r/IWantOut/

This will be pretty useful to me one day.

Week 9/10

My very enthusiastic face when I'm studying.

PTL, I got an A- on my physics midterm, but I totally failed my chem midterm. I am way too lucky sometimes.

I really have to get rid of all my old habits and old ways. I'm starting to revert back to my old ways; I can't let myself do that when I've been doing so well.

SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER

-living at apartments with Evelyn/summer school

-hopefully going to San Fran once with Evelyn and another time with Justin/Ilani/Nelson

-YAYY getting a job or I will try to at least :)

-hopefully a random trip with my momma

-many adventures with old friends

I'm so excited I can hardly contain myself.

Two weeks, you got this.

Push yourself.

Make plans.

Remember why you're here.